bang

(no subject)

i don't really want to talk to anyone right now but i have a lot on my mind.  now that i am very limited in what i can do to distract myself i am reminded of how much i miss my friends.  i am laying here in bed staring at my wheel chair gleaming from the glow of my computer screen amazed at how quickly plans can just crumble and blow away with the wind. 
bang

(no subject)


FrenchMafia15 (4:23:54 PM): ok i need advice
FrenchMafia15 (4:23:59 PM): lol
TropicanaAna66 (4:24:12 PM): advice?
FrenchMafia15 (4:25:06 PM): yes
TropicanaAna66 (4:25:17 PM): from me?
FrenchMafia15 (4:25:43 PM): yes
FrenchMafia15 (4:25:44 PM): lol
FrenchMafia15 (4:25:50 PM): suprisin i kno
FrenchMafia15 (4:25:53 PM): but ok:
TropicanaAna66 (4:26:01 PM): haha okay i will try
FrenchMafia15 (4:26:30 PM): this one girl just told me she loved me
FrenchMafia15 (4:26:34 PM): wat should i do/say
TropicanaAna66 (4:26:40 PM): is she sober?
FrenchMafia15 (4:26:46 PM): lol stfu bitch
bang

(no subject)

okay i cried today for the first time  since living in the dorm.  i think i did pretty good with that.  my calculator went missing and i have no money to buy a new one until friday!  so i am freaking out considering i already have precalc homework on the first day of classes.  my professor is the math major guy who almost laughed when i said that i was taking precalc and i wanted to be a math major.  we will see how that goes.  anyway, i call my mom to see if she knows what might have happened to my calculator and just hearing my mom and dad talk was depressing cause i really needed them, but they were too far away.  it was very sad.  and now this random person just imed me and asked who i was.... like i am gonna answer that without knowing who they are.  weirdos
bang

(no subject)

so... here i am.  night two of my college experience and i am all alone.  Kirstin left to go home to see her dad and pick up some more stuff so i have the room to myself.  I am not sure if i am happy about it or not at this point.  It is kinda nice to have some alone time, but at the same time it is lonely.  According to some people some guy killed himself in my room a few years ago.  which is happy and ever so uplifting.
bang

(no subject)

omg... i have moved into my dorm room. it is pretty cool actually.  I am still super lost as to where everything on campus is, but things could be a lot worse!
bang

(no subject)

I leave for freaking college tomorrow! damn.  it just feels so odd.  I still think of myself as young and foolish.  I sure as hell hope that i am prepared for this!  My roommate seems nice and i think i have everything i need.  I have money, well enough to last me a little while anyway. 

I'm scared...
  • Current Mood
    worried worried
people

(no subject)

I had the weirdest dream last night that i was in the olympics.  If that isn't strange enough, i won the gold.  Which is crazy on a level most people can't even begin to understand because there is no sport known to man kind that i could actually win.  haha.  but anyway, while i was there i was like wtf why doesn't anyone care that i am a gold medal winner in the freaking olympics.  None of my family or friends are there to cheer me on or anything.  So i go home, which is a cool combination of my last three houses and my family is all there,  but they still aren't excited to see me at all.  It bums me out a lot cause this win is a big deal for me obviously.  Then my mom starts bitching at me because i wasn't there for the first part of this reality game show thing that she and the rest of my family had created when i left.  After i go downstairs i notice that there are only two people left in the game and i jump right into the whole thing like i know what is going on.  I start throwing paint soaked sponges at them as they ride fake horses back and forth across the room.  I am not even sure what the point was but thats what i did and people were actually cheering for me now so i kept going.  Then... kelsey woke me up with a text saying she loved me! haha.  it was a nice way to end the dream.  

Then at noonish i talked to frenchy who i miss very much.  His hometown is freaking beautiful and I hope he realizes how damn lucky he is to have a life like that.  I don't even have a hometown.  I mean i was born here, and i spend the first 5 years of my life about 5 or 10 min from where i live at the moment.  

It is pretty amazing how despite all that we have done in the past couple of years, we ended up back where we started, only to begin a new life at college.  

p.s. i'm back
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely
bang

(no subject)

okay... so my school district has made the news two more times recently.  no shakespear this time, but bus drivers were involved in both cases.  One is that a bus drive sexualy assulted a girl and a different bus driver got in a physical fight with like 3 girls on the bus...... the video of the latter is truely stunning.  Girls are freaking brats.  There is no way in hell that i am letting my little sister go to that high school... i will kidnap her and move her far away before i let that happen.
bang

(no subject)

There is something i have noticed about myself in these last couple of weeks.  
I am prideful....  me and my friend made a childrens story for ap lit.  she pretty much wrote it, the two lines i wrote pretty much ruined the story to her, but i kept it in when i created the final draft.  the only reason i even bothered putting an effort into it was so that people would look at the pictures and comment on them.  I worked so hard on those freaking pictures that i haven't done my government homework in over a week.  I am falling behind and i fear i may be close to failing.  I sat here for hours trying to make it perfect.   was it fucking worth it?  
I am lazy... whenever i decide that i am going to change and be a better person and whatnot.  I last a week, maybe two tops... i just don't have the will power to do what i should.  

and something else... isn't senior year supposed to be the shit?  isn't it supposed to be fun, the year we look back on and smile?  isn't it supposed to be a big deal, the last year of our high school career?  should i really be this freaked out?